Sensitive Jae

I normally don't know how to start these things so, here goes... I'm going to just blah blah blah and hope I can make sense of my ramblings later. If you were to ask me how my week has been, I'd have to say S.S.D.D. I can't wait to get back to San Francisco so I'll have something to do with my time. My husband and I were living in a small religious town that had absolutely nothing to do! There wasn't even a coffee shop to hang out. The only reason we lived there was for his job. We hated this town though and the town hated ME. I've always been different and being a 6ft tall, flat chested amazon doesn't help. Anyways, my husbands shop went under right after we took out a loan to pay off the car and.......... Here we are at my mother-in-laws in Kansas saving every ducket we can so that we can move back to the Bay Area. Once again, were in a small town here in Kansas - nothing is open on the weekends and what is open closes at noon (right when I'm finally waking up).

Here I am, S.S.D.D. Playing Civ until I'm blue in the face. I spent last week not feeling so hot and this week I'm feeling better. I started cooking again and made a pork-pot-pie and then an incredible skillet of buscuits and gravey. Tonight I'm fixing chipped corned beef, YUM!

I had one of my "creepy, I don't know you" dreams. That's what I call them when I tell my husband out them. This one wasn't very out of the ordinary and from what I recall of it was only a 5 second dream. A man named Ron introduced himself to me. Tall, slender, balding on top with a grey trail of hair from ear to ear. He seemed nice, friendly and comfortably dressed.......... I don't know anyone named Ron. I don't know ANYONE for that matter. I have alot of dreams like this and they always come and go. The last dream I had like this it was just a name of some place. The name was so strong in my mind when I woke up that I could not stop thinking about it so, I broke down and looked it up on the net. Come to find out it was some small cemetary in Australia. So small it only had one reference to it. Could these dreams be some kind of contact?

My husband and I have been here in Kansas for 3 months now. A month after we arrived one of our cats started having seizures. We went thru the house a second time to "cat proof" and found nothing that could possibly causing these. Shortly after his big seizure I saw the back end of a large cat with a black back end and a bushy black tail dart from the side of the fridge and around the corner towards the couch. It's always very fast and semi transparent like a shadow. The times I have seen these Grim has had a seizure a short time later. I described this back end of a cat to my husband and to his surprise he said "that sounds JUST like Bandit", a childhood cat he had. Sparky, our other "kid" respondes to Bandit as well, he's the only one that will play with Bandit. The other 3 cats will be sleeping while Sparky is doing "race tracks" thru the house and goofing with Bandit.

Anyways, I didn't get much sleep last night so I think I'm going to put my laundry in the dryer and take a nap before everyone starts coming home.

One last thing, I've been reading about the Large Hadron Collider which really worries me. I read in the news last night that scientists are aren't so sure about what's going to happen now and that they are recalculating, blah blah blah. When I read this story I had such an incredible feeling of darkness. It was as if I were in a rubber suit that was deflating, making it hard to breath. I'm a firm believer in science but hello??? There are just somethings that should not be played around with. Creating black holes on Earth??? I don't care how small they are! These scientists are going to perform this task based on "theory"! There are 10 billion what-if's! What if something goes wrong and they can't "kill" this black hole? What if something else is created? They've already had one "oops" with falty wiring. Is that a sign? In my honest opinion, they should not be playing around with something like this without FACTS, not theory nor, should they be playing with something like this without fail safes. A way of reversing it or killing it. Does this Large Hadron Collider scare the holy crap out of anyone else?